A Message of Hope from Bonzo.....

With a lot of interest shown in my injury and therefore a lack of pace, power and points on the pitch this last month I thought I ought to give you an update on my condition and impending return.

Due to my crunching tackle to save the game against Castleford I have officially damaged my abductors???? And looks like I will be out for a further two or three weeks or until the excruciating pain, that nobody else can imagine or has endured, subsides. (I can hear you all say aaaaaahhhhh).

Yes, I may have gained a little weight although I am sure I have got away with it and nobody seems to have noticed even though I have reached my Christmas fighting weight a couple of months early.

I heard our young scrum half charged a kick down and secured the game on Saturday………he obviously is not putting enough hard work in around the pitch if he still as the energy to run out form under the posts!! I am usually doubled up gasping for breath after running my goolies off and probably making a last ditch attempt to flatten the try scorer.

I must apologise to the scrumhalf after I heard he had to have a belt around his shirt to stop it flapping about in the wind but I pride myself on pumping iron and attaining the large physique that Schwarzenegger would be proud of.

With me having a clean sheet as far as YELLOW CARDS are concerned it saddens me that three of you have let the side down! As you know I pride myself on the discipline of the game and respect shown to rules and officials who give their time for the good of this glorious game……tut,tut,tut. Please try and improve this situation and pay your dues immediately.

During my time away from the game I have been looking at non Subscription Payments on a couple of you and am preparing a name and shame list and this goes for those who have had a shirt and not paid. If you would like to order a shirt please let me know the collar size and pay your £12.

See you soon